Hello Again!!!

I know I haven't posted a lot. Sometimes I start doing something and I quit after awhile but I think that maybe it will be good to continue on writing to see if it helps me and can help others. I am doing a lot better than the last time I have posted. I have been on medication for months and it does help me. I am not perfect though and sometimes I still have bad days but they are not as bad as they use to be. At this moment I am just so stressed. I seem to have a panic attack every day because of what is going on. It feels like something is just sitting on my chest all the time. I know its because I am trying to do everything by myself. Trying to get a new house, packing, cleaning, working, being a mom, being a wife and many other things. I know I should ask for help but I am stubborn.
I am trying to be more faithful and realize that the Lord knows what he is doing and he will help me. I am trying to remember whatever happens is his will, not mine.
I guess its because I really really want this house. It feels so right and everything seems to be working out for it. But at the same time in the back of my mind I feel like its gonna go bad.
I am trying to not be so negative. Maybe me writing all my frustrations down will help me. And maybe others will see if they are going through the same things they are not alone.