Choices

I have felt and have been told several times I need to tell my story. I thought hmm maybe I will start a book but than I realized that takes to much commitment and who is going to read it. So I decided to start a blog. I have one for my family but I want to keep it about my family. I recently been using it just express my issues and that didn't seem right to me. So here I am.

Why did I name the blog choices? Well I personally believe the way people act and who they are all comes down to two things: choices and things out of our control. Everyone has the chance to make their own choices. Now some of us might have different mind sets or been raised differently but its our own choice to be who we want to be. And than some other times things happen that change us because of other people choices. For example it was not a woman choice to be beat or rape it was a choice of another but it still affects that woman and probably plays into the way she acts today. Now some things just happen. Like death unless it was an accident caused by others choices its out of our hands. For example cancer. Sure there are choices like not smoking that can lower the chances of not getting it but ultimately sometimes it just happens. And those things are out of our control. No matter what happens though even if you can't help it. It is your choice on how to handle it, and continue on handling it. Once again it all comes back to your choice.

Now I am not saying its easy. Personally I hate the term "If you want to be happy than choose to be happy" but for someone that has genetic depression, like I do, that's hard. My mind is hard wired differently than most and some days no matter how much I choose to be happy it just doesn't happen. But it is my choice to not let it defeat me, to not let it drag me down all the time. Sure I will have bad days, like many people but it is my CHOICE not to let it define me. I chose to get up the next day and try my hardest with my choices to make it a better day.

Now you know why I named this blog choices. It just felt like a powerful word to me that plays into everything. I am going to use this blog to talk about things. Personal things that I don't share to often. It's going to be hard but I feel like it is something I have to do. I have to be vulnerable if I want to help others. Because ultimately I feel like this is what it will do. Help others who are like me, and also help myself. I don't know who I am, or where I am going so maybe if I write things down it will help. It will make things seem a little better. Maybe putting things out there will help me deal with them a little better.

If you are reading this right now I want to thank you for taking time to go on this journey with me. Here goes nothing.