My Story

I figured I would start off talking a little about myself in case you do not know me. My name is Afton. I am 24 years old. I have been married almost 8 years and have two amazing daughters ages 2 and 4. Now that is how I start everything off. It's easy to state the facts. But who am I? I am not really sure. That is the grey area in my life right now. I also figured I would kind of talk about my life. Not in great detail because their will be other posts for that, and I don't want this post to be to big, so I will just stick with the basics right now.

I was born on February 15th in 1990. I was one of those kids that was born out of wedlock. Nothing is wrong with that it is something that happens. I was given my mothers last name because my dad he wasn't there. He didn't even sign my birth certificate. Now that's not a huge thing but I think it kind of affect me to this day. So to say the least he wasn't around to much. I met him like 4 times my whole life until he passed in 2008, but that is something I will go into later.

My mom tried I really believe she did but at that time she just could not take care of me for whatever reasons. For the most part my grandma raised me. Now I didn't have a bad childhood. My grandma did everything she could to make sure of it. Yes she worked a lot and she was not around to much but she wanted to make sure I was given everything I wanted. I was spoiled and I know it. My childhood was pretty great because of my grandma. I did live with my mom on and off or she would live with us but it wasn't for long periods of time. And though my grandma made sure I had everything I could ever want or need I still struggled. Mostly because I would see families where other kids had moms and dads, and than there was me. I saw my mom maybe 3 times a year if that when I didn't live with her, and the first time I remember meeting my dad I was 5. That is not a normal thing. So I kind of stood out, and I didn't like that.

I think that is where a lot of my issues and choices come from. I just wanted to be accepted. I mean for me to do drugs at a young age, lose my virginity at 14 to a 28 year old, to all my choices. Come down to me wanting to be accepted. I would dress, act and like the things that my friends did at the time. I know you know the term "daddy issues" yeah I think I might of had those. Because to the male gender is where I really wanted acceptance. I will go into more of those things later but I think that acceptance is what I wanted and what made me do the things I did.

Now if you have done the math I got married at 16. I get asked all the time why. Why did I get married at 16? Well a few months before my 16th birthday I was in a dark place. I just got dumped by a man I thought loved me but was just using me. I was with someone that I tried to love because he loved me and I know he did but I couldn't and was just kind of stringing him along, which by the way I still feel bad about. I didn't know where I was going or who I was. I think my depression I had my whole life was at an all time high. And I was about to end it. I have always been religious and at that time I felt close to God so I asked for help. I remember being on my knees bawling uncontrollably asking for help because I didn't know what to do. A month later is when I met my husband. It was love at first site for me. I was already in a relationship but after I met him I remember walking away and something told me "I will marry that man some day," I have come to realize now he was the answer to my prayers. He saved me and continues to save me every day.

I am 24 years old and I am still confused about who I am and where I belong.  But this is my story. My story about my past and the things that affect me and the choices I made. My hope it helps me figure out who I am. And maybe help others who have the same problems. At this time I know 3 things for sure: 1. I am a daughter of our Heavenly Father and he loves me even if I do make bad choices 2. My husband is my rock. He holds me together when I am falling apart and without him I would not be here today 3. My girls are my everything. They are the reason I want to be better. They are the reason I want to find who I am and I want to give them the best life that I can.

Now don't worry I will go more into everything but this is me. I am complicated and all over the place kind of like my writing but I am me and I will find out completely what that means.